Mon, 01 Aug 2005
In the doldrums.
I probably could have updated a little more recently. Lots of stuff has been going on, or about to go on. I'm done classes, as I've probably already mentioned. I even wrote a final test for Japanese which went if not better, then at least no worse than the rest of the term.
It's also the long weekend, which is nice. It is supposed to give me a chance to relax, but really, all I've been feeling these last few days is tired. It's hard not to relate this with my coming birthday. I tend to be a little moody, but I really don't know if this is any different than any other lull that I get into, and I just associate it with my birthday because it's so close or not.
I never really figured out birthdays very well. As a kid, my birthdays used to usually be a bit of a disappointment as they would coincide with the long weekend. More than once, I'd have a party where only two or three of my childhood friends could make it. Now, the long weekend is a bit of a blessing as my birthday falls on (or near enough) the weekend more often than not. But I still am a bit weird about the actual event.
I'm not one for partying with large groups as such. I almost never go out clubbing, and if I do, I'm usually the first one to want to call it a night. The thought of being the centre of attention for a day, in my head seems like more of an obligation to me, in that I can't really just say "thanks for coming, get out now" when I inevitably tire before everyone else. I imagine this is vaguely what newlyweds must feel like at their wedding reception.
At the same time though, I feel I need recognition of the event. It is, after
all, my birthday we're talking about here. I'm a pretty social person, but I sort of had to work at it. So I end up feeling slighted if nobody acknowledges my birthday, but at the same time, I feel resentful of people imposing on my time if they do spend time with me. That's no good.
Things are not a total washout though. I broke down and ordered an iBook for
myself on Friday. This seems to be part of a disturbing
trend. But according to Apple, everything's all been shipped, so by the
end of the week, I should have a new toy to play with.
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