Bad Analogies

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Submited Analogies

Jorge Figueiredo
  • He was as fast as lightning, but twice as stupid.
  • She lept over the wall, like a rebellious slinky.
  • He avoided committment like he avoided really bad pastry.
  • She avoided committment like she avoided getting serious with anyone.
  • He moved with the grace of a pregnant Yak.
  • She felt woozy, and imbalanced, much like a drunk elephant whose right testicle is bigger than his left.
  • He was rich, rich beyond all recognition.
  • He wasn't bloodthirsty, he was just very good at killing people and liked it.
Leo Chan
  • As the romance hightened, she clung to his arm like a the rancid smell of rotting cow manure fertilizing a farmers field in the spring.
  • The molasses in January flows as slowly as snot during a sinus infection.
Lorna Reid
  • The nuclear missiles exploded across the face of the earth like there was no tomorrow.
  • He had the handsome, rugged look of a chipmunk.
  • The eighth of November dawned much like any other day, except for August the fifteenth.
  • She was as lonely as someone who was all by herself and had no friends.
  • Todd was slightly less angry than a man who, after returning to his parking spot to find a truck double parked in front of his car and having spent the last hour in the lineup at the bank (all the while, thinking about the way his best friend had been flirting with his wife at a party the night before) followed by a run-in outside the bank with a bratty little kid carrying a water gun full of grape juice on the day the man had worn his new silk shirt, had just stepped on some gum.
Brian Rossmajer

"The computer was up and down like a hooker's panties."

Or did you mean bad in some other way?

Eric Lippert

Here in the US what we Canadians call "process cheese" is called "American cheese". The fact that this reflects badly, if accurately, on Americans seems not to be understood very well. Anyway, a friend of mine from CalTech recently stated the following:

"American cheese is to real cheese what this analogy is to a good analogy."

The trouble is, I can't decide if that is a good analogy or not.

Leslie Rosenblood

He had a talent for seeing through the core of a problem, like the great Native tracker who said, "The train has passed by here recently, for I can still see its tracks..."

Matt "So-Krates" Walsh

Herb sat by his window and watched in roughly the way that an average potato, despite having 7.5 times as many eyes, wouldn't.

Christopher Calzonetti

As for the analogy, I don't really have one for you. I never really liked analogies anyway. I always felt that they were like union negotiations where the two sides tried to make two radically different ideas meet, except that the ideas were sort of similar already, and there wasn't really anybody on either side negotiating.